When You Disappeared: 4 Stars

Author: John Marrs
Length: 350 pgs.
Wow, that was insane.

This book was a lot of fun to listen to -I downloaded the audio version from Kindle Unlimited – up until the last 2 hours or so. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t lose steam or go off track at the end. Rather, the story goes from mysterious to just plain depressing and torturous to hear. It was extremely hard to listen to the end of the story due to the events that are finally revealed at that point. I wish I could explain why but that would be spoiler-y and this book is best if you go into it blind.

Having just listened to another Marrs book, The One, I can say that When you Disappeared is not really a thriller per se, but more of a years-long mystery that is unraveled throughout the book. It’s still in the vein of psychological thriller as it does play with our heads but it’s not particularly fast-paced and doesn’t have that edge-of-your-seat vibe from Marrs’ other brilliant book Good Samaritan. However I still thoroughly enjoyed it.

The story centers around a woman, Catherine, who wakes up to find her husband Simon missing. Just gone. Was he killed in an accident? Did he run off? Did he leave her for another woman? Was he abducted? There’s a years-long search, but at its end Catherine accepts she’ll never know what happened to her husband.

25 years after he disappears, Simon shows up on Catherine’s door step. He needs to tell her the story of where he’s been, and in turn she tells him the story of how her life and the lives of their three kids fell apart after he left them.

Marrs has created a true monster in the character of Simon. Never have I had such a strong dislike for a character. His excuses as to why he left made me scoff. His proclivity for blaming Catherine for “making” him leave his whole family in the lurch is infuriating. And as the book goes on, he cements himself as a truly despicable person who has done despicable things.

On the other end of the spectrum is Catherine, whom I can’t help but feel for as we hear her struggle. And we soon learn that Simon disappearing may or may not actually be the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Marrs has a definite way with both character- and mystery-building. He also has a talent for writing women: their inner voices, their unspoken anguish at experiencing loss or deceit, the day-to-day feelings of uncertainty, unworthiness and second-guessing. Catherine is as well-written a female character as I’ve ever read from a female author.

As I mentioned above, the last 1.5 – 2 hours of the book are incredibly hard to get through. I cried on my drive to work as I listened to the narrators reveal their biggest secret, the heartbreak from that day now coupled with regret as their truth is finally shared. It reminds us we shouldn’t jump to conclusions, and you can’t make life-changing decisions based on suspicion. It also makes me want to hug my kids tightly and never let them out of my sight.

If you’re like me you’ll find yourself struggling to come to terms with the story after it ends, in a state of shock and/or mental anguish. My recommendations are just to silently repeat the words these are not real people. These are not real people over and over.