When You Disappeared: 4 Stars

Author: John Marrs
Length: 350 pgs.
Wow, that was insane.

This book was a lot of fun to listen to -I downloaded the audio version from Kindle Unlimited – up until the last 2 hours or so. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t lose steam or go off track at the end. Rather, the story goes from mysterious to just plain depressing and torturous to hear. It was extremely hard to listen to the end of the story due to the events that are finally revealed at that point. I wish I could explain why but that would be spoiler-y and this book is best if you go into it blind.

Having just listened to another Marrs book, The One, I can say that When you Disappeared is not really a thriller per se, but more of a years-long mystery that is unraveled throughout the book. It’s still in the vein of psychological thriller as it does play with our heads but it’s not particularly fast-paced and doesn’t have that edge-of-your-seat vibe from Marrs’ other brilliant book Good Samaritan. However I still thoroughly enjoyed it.

The story centers around a woman, Catherine, who wakes up to find her husband Simon missing. Just gone. Was he killed in an accident? Did he run off? Did he leave her for another woman? Was he abducted? There’s a years-long search, but at its end Catherine accepts she’ll never know what happened to her husband.

25 years after he disappears, Simon shows up on Catherine’s door step. He needs to tell her the story of where he’s been, and in turn she tells him the story of how her life and the lives of their three kids fell apart after he left them.

Marrs has created a true monster in the character of Simon. Never have I had such a strong dislike for a character. His excuses as to why he left made me scoff. His proclivity for blaming Catherine for “making” him leave his whole family in the lurch is infuriating. And as the book goes on, he cements himself as a truly despicable person who has done despicable things.

On the other end of the spectrum is Catherine, whom I can’t help but feel for as we hear her struggle. And we soon learn that Simon disappearing may or may not actually be the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Marrs has a definite way with both character- and mystery-building. He also has a talent for writing women: their inner voices, their unspoken anguish at experiencing loss or deceit, the day-to-day feelings of uncertainty, unworthiness and second-guessing. Catherine is as well-written a female character as I’ve ever read from a female author.

As I mentioned above, the last 1.5 – 2 hours of the book are incredibly hard to get through. I cried on my drive to work as I listened to the narrators reveal their biggest secret, the heartbreak from that day now coupled with regret as their truth is finally shared. It reminds us we shouldn’t jump to conclusions, and you can’t make life-changing decisions based on suspicion. It also makes me want to hug my kids tightly and never let them out of my sight.

If you’re like me you’ll find yourself struggling to come to terms with the story after it ends, in a state of shock and/or mental anguish. My recommendations are just to silently repeat the words these are not real people. These are not real people over and over.

That Night: 4 Stars

Author: Chevy Stevens
Length: 400 pgs.
This is my second Chevy Stevens book in less than a month, and that is no accident. Coincidentally, I read both books while I was home sick from work and finished them in 2 days. Yes, I had extra time on my hands for being at home sick BUT her books are such consistent page turners!! That Night is no different. I picked up a used paperback copy from Goodwill books online and it was in great condition and cost less than $2.

This book was more of a mystery than the other two of hers I’ve read (Still Missing and Those Girls were more suspense/thrillers). This is still a definite thriller, but the main question-who really killed Nicole?-isn’t answered until the very end.

Nicole is the sister of the main character, Toni. When we first meet Toni she’s being released from prison after serving 15 years for her sister’s murder. The book goes back and forth between the events leading up to the night of the murder, and present day where Toni’s trying to get her life back together while out on parole. This book was especially stressful to read just hearing about everything Toni has gone through/is going through. What first stands out to me is her relationship with her mother. Pre-prison, she and her mother do not get along. Toni is the black sheep compared to Nicole’s role in the family as the sweet daughter. She can’t seem to do anything right, and when she meets and begins a long-term relationship with Ryan, things only go downhill. Her mom tends to blame everything negative on the relationship, which pushes Toni further into Ryan’s arms and farther away from the daughter her mother wishes she would be.

Her mom is realistically written in that she’s completely unlikable, short-tempered and flustered (I’m taking notes on how not to treat or talk to my girls when they reach the dreaded teen years). Toni doesn’t make it any easier on herself however, mouthing off and/or completely ignoring her mom when asked to do something. This is where Nicole knows how to play the game- she may be the “good” daughter in that she puts on a sweet face and does what’s asked of her, but she’s calculating in her own way. She knows what she’s doing and she knows how to play the innocent in the eyes of her parents. Toni acts solely on emotion, coming off as frustrated and annoyed in every conversation with her mother.

Unfortunately, outside of her relationship with Ryan, Toni doesn’t find much relief in her school/personal life. Chevy Stevens has created one of the most hateful villains ever with the heinous literal creation of Shauna McKinney. Man I hated that bitch! The sad thing is that I think so many of us know a Shauna McKinney in one form or another. She starts off initially as Toni’s friend-as these bitches often do-but unsurprisingly morphs into SuperBitch for one spiteful reason or another. Have I mentioned this chick’s a total beeyotch?

To say she’s a bitch is actually putting it mildly. Throughout the rest of her high school career Toni is tortured by Shauna and her pathetic group of hangers-on. Her life is made miserable and since her mother constantly pushes her away for one reason or another (her room’s not clean enough, she has a bad attitude), Toni can only go to Ryan for comfort. Things get worse when Shauna drafts Nicole as her newest friend, and then suddenly Nicole’s part of the group that’s making Toni’s life a living hell.

This part was a little bit of a stretch for me. I know that popularity rules all when you’re in school, but the idea that you’d abandon a sibling to the clutches of mean girls just to be categorized as “cool” yourself was somewhat unbelievable. With my kids we teach them that family is first and everyone else can suck it (at least that’s the abbreviated version) so it was super frustrating to see Nicole getting away with this type of behavior. When Toni tries to make her parents aware of what’s going on, all it takes is a little nice-girl act from Shauna for Toni’s mother to give her a lecture about forgiveness and getting along with everyone. No one believes Toni or takes her at her word and that’s exasperating.

This all serves to lead up to that fateful night in the book’s title where Nicole is brutally murdered. We learn the chain of events that put Toni and Ryan behind bars. We see Toni’s mother lose all trust for her surviving daughter and basically abandon her to the legal system. If I haven’t mentioned Toni’s father before now, it’s because his character is useless. He gives half-ass excuses for his wife’s behavior all while pushing Toni farther and farther away. It’s sad to learn that Toni’s most supportive relationships will be built with fellow prison inmates, instead of the friends and family who should’ve been there for her in the first place.

Found guilty of Nicole’s murder (thanks to some helpful testimony from Shauna and crew), Ryan and Toni are separated and sent to prison for their respective sentences. Even after Toni’s finally released, she can’t seem to find any peace. She’s an ex-con out on parole with nowhere to stay, no job, and the stigma of being known as a sister-murderer in her hometown. She quickly runs into one of the girls who testified against her, and later she runs into Shauna herself, who proves that she still has power to make Toni’s life a living hell. In fact the constant, lingering fear of Toni’s being sent back to prison sits like a knot in the reader’s stomach. Nothing is easy for this girl. You’d think finally getting out of jail after serving time on a bullshit murder charge would relieve some stress, but for Toni-when she decides once and for all that she’s going to solve her sister’s murder-it’s like the trouble’s just beginning.

The fast-paced nature of the book only added to the tension building. By the end of the book I was DYING to know what was going to happen, and if more bad things were going to happen to my sweet little ex-con Toni, if she was going to get her dog Captain back, and if anyone was ever going to punch Shauna and/or Toni’s mom in the face.

I won’t answer those questions for you, but I was happy with how everything went down in the end. This was another unputdownable read for me from Chevy Stevens.